What it means to be vulnerability?

What it means to be vulnerability? : vulnerable \VUL-nuh-ruh-bul\ adjective . 1 : capable of being physically or emotionally wounded. 2 : open to attack or damage : assailable.

Read Detail Answer On What it means to be vulnerability?

If you think vulnerability is something to be ashamed of , think again. “Vulnerability is not weakness,” renowned author and research professor at the University of Houston Brené Brown says in her 2010TEDxHouston talk on the subject. “I define vulnerability as emotional risk, exposure, uncertainty. It fuels our daily lives.” More good news? Learning how to be vulnerable in a relationship can fuelstronger, healthier, and more meaningful bonds than perhaps you’ve ever imagined.

“Vulnerability is emotional openness and putting yourself into aposition in which you are exposed and willing to be open,” says Shelley Sommerfeldt, PsyD, clinical psychologist and founder of online couples coaching practice called the Loving Roots Project. “It’s also the skill of being aware and acknowledging your emotional state ratherthan deflecting, avoiding, or denying your feelings.” As Sommerfeldt points out, while many people incorrectly identify vulnerability as a weakness, “it is actually a strength that requires confidence in oneself and your ability to embrace challenging situations.”

Of course, embracing vulnerability with a romantic partner(s) is not a done-and-dusted task. “Being vulnerable in a relationship is letting your guard down to connect in a raw and open manner,” Sommerfeldt notes. “It meansputting your heart on the line, even if that means heartache.” That might sound like an ouch, but vulnerability encourages the most authentic version of yourself to come to the forefront. (Consider that a mega-awesome skill in the long run, no matter the relationship.)

Ready to go all-in? Vulnerability requires you to be connected to how you process emotions and express thoughts and feelings to your partner openly and honestly. Ahead, learn how to be more vulnerable—and why it canbe so freakin’ hard to do so in the first place.

Why is it so difficult to be vulnerable?

“The word vulnerable comes from Latin and means ‘wounding,'” says Angela Amias, a couples therapist and co-founder of Alchemy of Love, which provides relationship programs forcouples. “Not surprisingly, vulnerability often has a negative association, especially in Western culture where it’s seen as the opposite of being strong.”

But, contrary to popular belief, opening yourself up to vulnerability also means opening up to the possibility of pain (and you gotta be pretty strong to be willing to do that). In fact, it’s kind of a requirementif you want to feel intimacy with someone, romantic or otherwise. “The ultimate truth about love and relationships, the truth that most of us want to avoid, is that loving another personmeans opening ourselves to the possibility of being hurt,” says Amias. “Being vulnerable requires you to share from your heart and that creates the potential for being hurt or rejected.”

When someone tries to avoid having honest conversations with their partner (the same applies to potential partners) for fear of being hurt, Amias says that results in the individual being closed off—no matter if they’re on the receiving end of love or pain. “Keeping yourself closed off so you don’t gethurt means you can never be close to another person,” she adds. “Healthy relationships require that we learn how to open up and share from our hearts. You have to be able to listen to your partner and be open to being affected by their words and their feelings, even when it’s difficult or painful.”

“Healthy relationships require that we learn how to open up and share from our hearts.”

“We can resist being vulnerable as a coping mechanism and means of emotional protection,” Sommerfeldt says, echoing Amias. “Many people may consciously or unconsciously believethey are protecting themselves by being closed off or not addressing complex emotional issues.” But this can create tension between partners, especially if they feel unloved or a lack of emotional connection within a relationship.

“A distant, shutdown, oremotionally-unavailable person can desire closeness and connection with others but have difficulty expressing this,” Sommerfeldt notes. “When that happens, their relationships cansuffer by feeling neglected or distant.”

Thankfully, if you make a commitment to self-reflection and work, you can totally boost your vulnerability IQ.

How can I start being more vulnerable in my relationship?

Ready to open yourself up to connection, no matter the result? (I know, gulp.) Here are seven expert-approved tips to get you started:

1. Check in with yourself.

Cliché but true: The most important relationship you’ll ever have is the onewith yourself. “When we have built a habit of avoiding or just burying our emotions we start to lose sight of how we actually feel,” says Monica Denais, a licensed professional counselor who works with high-achieving millennial women entrepreneurs. “Checking in with yourself by working with acounselor and/or journaling can help you deepen the level of understanding of yourself and your partner.”

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2. Engage in self-soothing.

Once you begin to have an awareness of how you are feeling and your emotional process, Sommerfeldt says it’s essential to engage incalming techniques that may reduce the discomfort that arises. “The act of self-soothing means that we provide comfort to ourselves in order to feel more emotionally solid and balanced,” she notes. Someoptions to flex these muscles, she says, include taking a few deep breaths, repeating positive affirmations, or engaging in healthy self-talk.

That may be easiersaid than done at first, but keep at it. “[Self-soothing] starts with small steps in expressing how you are feeling and sitting with the uncomfortable emotions as they come up,” she says. “With more practice and exposure, we begin to build confidence and feel better through the process.”

3. Schedule regular check-ins with your partner.

Think penciling it in with your partner is ridiculous? Not so, says Denais. In fact, she recommends scheduling a 30-minute weeklycheck-in with your better half. “Ask each other ‘What went terrible today? What went well?'” she advises. “Giving a little glimpse into your day is the perfect practice for sharingthe bigger stuff we tend to avoid.” Denais adds that it’s important to set boundaries about how much you’re willing to share as you start to grow this practice.

This content is imported frompoll. You may be able to find the same content in another format, or you may be able to find more information, at their web site.

4. Get outside of your comfort zone.

Listen up, folks: It’s important to talk about the hard stuff. (Yep, the things you really want to avoid in the first place.) “Through facing these uncomfortable and challenging emotions, we can build tolerance and begin to feel more confident in our ability to be open and vulnerable,” says Sommerfeldt. “When weembrace emotional or difficult conversations, rather than fleeing from them… they become less scary.” With practice, along with self-soothing and staying grounded in the present moment, “we can slowly let our guard down and begin to have a more open and honest relationship with ourselves and others,” she adds.

15 Relationship Podcasts To Listen To When You Don’t Have Time For Couple’s Therapy

5. Try this vulnerability exercise.

Speaking of stretching beyond your comfort zone, consider this couples exercise from Amias: Sit quietly, back to back, while focusing onbreathing together, with the eventual goal of synchronizing your inhalations and exhalations. “This practice can feel really awkward at first, but it’s a great way to practice vulnerability because it’s outside ofmost people’s comfort zones,” she says.

Bonus points: Amias says this practice of breathing together will also help you learn how to listen more effectively, both to yourself and to your partner (and vice versa), which will only serve as a benefit to future conversations.

6. Be a better listener.

Put 👏 down 👏 the 👏 phone 👏 . It almost goes without saying, but for the tough convos, limit the distractions. That means nocell phone, no TV, no playing chess on the computer. Instead, focus on making eye contact with and listening to your significant other, says Amias. “Being vulnerable in your relationship requires being fully present with yourpartner,” she explains. “Listen with the intent of understanding where they’re coming from, rather than just waiting for your turn to talk.”

Curiosity, Amias adds, will also help you become abetter listener: “Be curious about how your partner is feeling and why, and also be curious about your own feelings, too.”

7. Weave more vulnerability moments into your day.

Feel like you’re stuck in a rut? Amias says that’s pretty common for couples who have been together for a long time. “Their relationship feels routine and familiar,” she says. There’s safety in the recognizable eb and flow of your day-to-day, but that also makes it easier for couples to stick to unchanginghabitual conversations and routines with their partner, leading to complacency.

“When working with couples to improve intimacy, I often advise them to focus on becoming more vulnerablewith each other,” Amias says. “It can be strangely intimidating to think about trying something new with someone you’ve known for 30 years.” One of her go-to techniques? Spend an extra ten minutes in bed in the morning, just silently looking into each other’s eyes. “[It] can be a powerful and very vulnerable—the experience of connection. It’s this sort of simple moment of intimacy that couples find they’ve been missing most in their relationship.”



What is a vulnerability example? : Other examples of vulnerability include these: A weakness in a firewall that lets hackers get into a computer network Unlocked doors at businesses, and/or Lack of security cameras
What are the 4 types of vulnerability? : The different types of vulnerability In the table below four different types of vulnerability have been identified, Human-social, Physical, Economic and Environmental and their associated direct and indirect losses
What is vulnerability in a relationship? : Vulnerability is when a person willingly takes the risk to reveal their emotions and weaknesses, says Shari Foos, a marriage and family therapist and founder of The Narrative Method
Read Detail Answer On What is vulnerability in a relationship?

If you think vulnerability is something to be ashamed of, think again. “Vulnerability is not weakness,” renowned author and research professor at the University of Houston Brené Brown says in her 2010TEDxHouston talk on the subject. “I define vulnerability as emotional risk, exposure, uncertainty. It fuels our daily lives.” More good news? Learning how to be vulnerable in a relationship can fuelstronger, healthier, and more meaningful bonds than perhaps you’ve ever imagined.

“Vulnerability is emotional openness and putting yourself into aposition in which you are exposed and willing to be open,” says Shelley Sommerfeldt, PsyD, clinical psychologist and founder of online couples coaching practice called the Loving Roots Project. “It’s also the skill of being aware and acknowledging your emotional state ratherthan deflecting, avoiding, or denying your feelings.” As Sommerfeldt points out, while many people incorrectly identify vulnerability as a weakness, “it is actually a strength that requires confidence in oneself and your ability to embrace challenging situations.”

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Of course, embracing vulnerability with a romantic partner(s) is not a done-and-dusted task. “Being vulnerable in a relationship is letting your guard down to connect in a raw and open manner,” Sommerfeldt notes. “It meansputting your heart on the line, even if that means heartache.” That might sound like an ouch, but vulnerability encourages the most authentic version of yourself to come to the forefront. (Consider that a mega-awesome skill in the long run, no matter the relationship.)

Ready to go all-in? Vulnerability requires you to be connected to how you process emotions and express thoughts and feelings to your partner openly and honestly. Ahead, learn how to be more vulnerable—and why it canbe so freakin’ hard to do so in the first place.

Why is it so difficult to be vulnerable?

“The word vulnerable comes from Latin and means ‘wounding,'” says Angela Amias, a couples therapist and co-founder of Alchemy of Love, which provides relationship programs forcouples. “Not surprisingly, vulnerability often has a negative association, especially in Western culture where it’s seen as the opposite of being strong.”

But, contrary to popular belief, opening yourself up to vulnerability also means opening up to the possibility of pain (and you gotta be pretty strong to be willing to do that). In fact, it’s kind of a requirementif you want to feel intimacy with someone, romantic or otherwise. “The ultimate truth about love and relationships, the truth that most of us want to avoid, is that loving another personmeans opening ourselves to the possibility of being hurt,” says Amias. “Being vulnerable requires you to share from your heart and that creates the potential for being hurt or rejected.”

When someone tries to avoid having honest conversations with their partner (the same applies to potential partners) for fear of being hurt, Amias says that results in the individual being closed off—no matter if they’re on the receiving end of love or pain. “Keeping yourself closed off so you don’t gethurt means you can never be close to another person,” she adds. “Healthy relationships require that we learn how to open up and share from our hearts. You have to be able to listen to your partner and be open to being affected by their words and their feelings, even when it’s difficult or painful.”

“Healthy relationships require that we learn how to open up and share from our hearts.”

“We can resist being vulnerable as a coping mechanism and means of emotional protection,” Sommerfeldt says, echoing Amias. “Many people may consciously or unconsciously believethey are protecting themselves by being closed off or not addressing complex emotional issues.” But this can create tension between partners, especially if they feel unloved or a lack of emotional connection within a relationship.

“A distant, shutdown, oremotionally-unavailable person can desire closeness and connection with others but have difficulty expressing this,” Sommerfeldt notes. “When that happens, their relationships cansuffer by feeling neglected or distant.”

Thankfully, if you make a commitment to self-reflection and work, you can totally boost your vulnerability IQ.

How can I start being more vulnerable in my relationship?

Ready to open yourself up to connection, no matter the result? (I know, gulp.) Here are seven expert-approved tips to get you started:

1. Check in with yourself.

Cliché but true: The most important relationship you’ll ever have is the onewith yourself. “When we have built a habit of avoiding or just burying our emotions we start to lose sight of how we actually feel,” says Monica Denais, a licensed professional counselor who works with high-achieving millennial women entrepreneurs. “Checking in with yourself by working with acounselor and/or journaling can help you deepen the level of understanding of yourself and your partner.”

2. Engage in self-soothing.

Once you begin to have an awareness of how you are feeling and your emotional process, Sommerfeldt says it’s essential to engage incalming techniques that may reduce the discomfort that arises. “The act of self-soothing means that we provide comfort to ourselves in order to feel more emotionally solid and balanced,” she notes. Someoptions to flex these muscles, she says, include taking a few deep breaths, repeating positive affirmations, or engaging in healthy self-talk.

That may be easiersaid than done at first, but keep at it. “[Self-soothing] starts with small steps in expressing how you are feeling and sitting with the uncomfortable emotions as they come up,” she says. “With more practice and exposure, we begin to build confidence and feel better through the process.”

3. Schedule regular check-ins with your partner.

Think penciling it in with your partner is ridiculous? Not so, says Denais. In fact, she recommends scheduling a 30-minute weeklycheck-in with your better half. “Ask each other ‘What went terrible today? What went well?'” she advises. “Giving a little glimpse into your day is the perfect practice for sharingthe bigger stuff we tend to avoid.” Denais adds that it’s important to set boundaries about how much you’re willing to share as you start to grow this practice.

This content is imported frompoll. You may be able to find the same content in another format, or you may be able to find more information, at their web site.

4. Get outside of your comfort zone.

Listen up, folks: It’s important to talk about the hard stuff. (Yep, the things you really want to avoid in the first place.) “Through facing these uncomfortable and challenging emotions, we can build tolerance and begin to feel more confident in our ability to be open and vulnerable,” says Sommerfeldt. “When weembrace emotional or difficult conversations, rather than fleeing from them… they become less scary.” With practice, along with self-soothing and staying grounded in the present moment, “we can slowly let our guard down and begin to have a more open and honest relationship with ourselves and others,” she adds.

15 Relationship Podcasts To Listen To When You Don’t Have Time For Couple’s Therapy

5. Try this vulnerability exercise.

Speaking of stretching beyond your comfort zone, consider this couples exercise from Amias: Sit quietly, back to back, while focusing onbreathing together, with the eventual goal of synchronizing your inhalations and exhalations. “This practice can feel really awkward at first, but it’s a great way to practice vulnerability because it’s outside ofmost people’s comfort zones,” she says.

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Bonus points: Amias says this practice of breathing together will also help you learn how to listen more effectively, both to yourself and to your partner (and vice versa), which will only serve as a benefit to future conversations.

6. Be a better listener.

Put 👏 down 👏 the 👏 phone 👏 . It almost goes without saying, but for the tough convos, limit the distractions. That means nocell phone, no TV, no playing chess on the computer. Instead, focus on making eye contact with and listening to your significant other, says Amias. “Being vulnerable in your relationship requires being fully present with yourpartner,” she explains. “Listen with the intent of understanding where they’re coming from, rather than just waiting for your turn to talk.”

Curiosity, Amias adds, will also help you become abetter listener: “Be curious about how your partner is feeling and why, and also be curious about your own feelings, too.”

7. Weave more vulnerability moments into your day.

Feel like you’re stuck in a rut? Amias says that’s pretty common for couples who have been together for a long time. “Their relationship feels routine and familiar,” she says. There’s safety in the recognizable eb and flow of your day-to-day, but that also makes it easier for couples to stick to unchanginghabitual conversations and routines with their partner, leading to complacency.

“When working with couples to improve intimacy, I often advise them to focus on becoming more vulnerablewith each other,” Amias says. “It can be strangely intimidating to think about trying something new with someone you’ve known for 30 years.” One of her go-to techniques? Spend an extra ten minutes in bed in the morning, just silently looking into each other’s eyes. “[It] can be a powerful and very vulnerable—the experience of connection. It’s this sort of simple moment of intimacy that couples find they’ve been missing most in their relationship.”

Additional Question — What it means to be vulnerability?

Why is vulnerability so attractive?

More intimacy and trust are sparked by showing vulnerability in your interactions. Additionally, it causes sexual tension because being open and vulnerable makes your partner feel safe and at home with you, which in turn makes them feel indubitably at ease around you.

What are signs of vulnerability?

Examples of VulnerabilityTaking chances that might lead to rejection Talking about mistakes you have made Sharing personal information that you normally keep private Feeling difficult emotions such as shame, grief, or fear Reconnecting with someone you have fallen out with

How do you practice vulnerability in a relationship?

Ask for what you need. Being vulnerable means taking these actions. It’s simple to deny our suffering or attempt to isolate ourselves from those around us when we’re in pain. Be prepared to let your emotions show. Say whatever comes to mind. Express your true feelings. Take it easy and concentrate.

How does a man show vulnerability?

He listens If the two of you are talking and he’s giving you his full attentionno phone, no distractions, no looking elsewherehe is being vulnerable He’s showing you that he genuinely cares about what you have to say and wants to know you beyond the surface, and in turn, wants you to do the same for him

What does being vulnerable look like?

Being open and honest with yourself requires vulnerability. Letting down the defensive barriers of rage allows the more visceral emotions of pain and love to surface. I can think of one instance recently when my husband and I were having a fight. He was upset with me because of something I said.

Does being in love make you vulnerable?

One is that love makes us feel vulnerable, which then scares us We often react by withdrawing into ourselves, by withholding our loving behavior, or by trying to control our partner’s loving behavior All to defend against feeling vulnerable Obviously, we can strive to control our defensive reactions

Is vulnerability attractive in a woman?

Being open to being hurt is a desirable quality because it allows a relationship to develop and deepen. Make sure you’re confiding in the appropriate person. But more importantly, cultivate a strong belief in yourself that, regardless of their response, your life will go on beautifully.

What is a vulnerable woman?

For instance, women who were neglected by their partners and/or family members frequently as a result of underlying causes, such as giving birth to only girls and leaving the husband with no heir, were considered vulnerable.

Why is being vulnerable so hard?

According to their research, we might be underestimating the benefits in our own lives while overestimating the risks. The researchers write that while displaying vulnerability may occasionally feel more like weakness on the inside, on the outside it may appear more like courage.

Are vulnerable people weak?

Vulnerability is often inaccurately equated with weakness. Many individuals, not wanting to appear “weak,” spend their lives avoiding and protecting themselves from feeling vulnerable or being perceived as too emotional. That fear and discomfort become judgment and criticism. However, vulnerability is not weakness.

How do you overcome vulnerability?

5 Ways to Feel Less Vulnerable
Stop Giving Away Your Power.
Examine Why It’s “Good” to Be a Victim.
Develop Your Core Self.
Align Yourself with the Flow of Evolution, or Personal Growth.
Trust in a Power that Transcends Everyday Reality.

Dannie Jarrod

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